Published November 27th, 2019
Feng Shui
By Michele Duffy
Using softer hues, cozy draperies, proper lighting and placing the bed against a solid wall in the FengShui "Commanding Position" all help create a serene place for kids. Photo provided
During this time of year our children often are at the center of many of our daily special occasions and the question Feng Shui can uniquely address is how to better support our children to be successful, happy and grounded.
On a daily basis, the rooms our children spend time in playing and sleeping should also inspire them to dream and imagine. Feng Shui for a child's room can benefit them on so many levels. There are many symptoms of unease that Feng Shui can help alleviate in your child's environment. If your child lacks confidence, isn't sleeping or focusing, or is having trouble socially, many of the clues can exist and be unwittingly reinforced in their environments, especially in their bedrooms.
Recently a family in Moraga contacted me for help with their little girl who was having attention and focus issues. She didn't like sleeping in her room, so halfway through the night she would wander into her parents' room, disrupting their sleep as well. Sound familiar? If it does, you aren't alone. Many parents experience sporadic "night fright" with their kiddos, but it's important to note when the behavior has graduated to destructive for both the child and the family. Often if a child is not enjoying their room they also won't learn to settle down in their own space, to complete school work or spend time alone reading or dreaming.
These parents, like many others I've helped, felt an enormous amount of shame around not being able to change the situation for the better for their child. Compassion is always at the heart of my motivation for helping others, and I've seen it dissolve resistance and embarrassment, because these challenges are all a part of the human condition and no one is immune from experiencing some form of suffering. First, I meet children where they are and ask for their very important input; in this case, I asked for the child to help me with the colors for her room and other design details. The shy child I met at the front door transformed into a willing collaborator in the refresh of her room.
Involving your own children and asking for their input is really important so they feel heard. I moved this child's bed away from under a drafty window into the "Commanding Position," which is always the No. 1 FengShui adjustment for any bedroom. She liked the change. Next, the walls were a very strong blue hue and I asked her about her favorite colors. No shock that pink topped the list so instead of a bubble gum color, I asked her if she wanted a more sophisticated or "big girl" color and after looking at a few, she picked one of my favorites, Benjamin Moore's "Proposal" (#AF-260), a calm whisper of pink.
Next we talked about calming, soft and new bedding and I emphasized how important it was to add a bed frame with a solid headboard so she would feel supported in life. As the transformation continued, her excitement grew. We talked with her about adding a loveseat under the window to create a reading nook and a place to rest and daydream, and also an upgrade to the wall dĒcor including a gallery wall of her artwork and another wall area for photos of her family and friends. Doing so helps a child feel connected to their gifts and also to the people who love them the most, and that they are part of something bigger, which fosters a sense of well being. The images that surround a child should be the same that Feng Shui recommends for adults: positive and uplifting, versus sad and melancholy.
Finally, I recommended a new storage solution to help keep her bedroom tidy. Clutter magnifies chaotic energy and so it's of paramount importance to help kids learn to participate in balancing out their own rooms, with simple choices that bring their personal space into greater calm. Creating storage solutions helps make the task of tidying up achievable.
Helping children to make the connection between a messy room and feelings of unease, and empowering them to see the connection between a tidy room and inner calm encourages them to tidy up themselves. Kids need structure and routines and setting up their rooms for success is a quiet layer that provides a canvas for them to write their own story, from a place of support and love. If children feel safe, grounded, and empowered they stand a better chance of success and Feng Shui can help create the ideal environment for growth.
Things to avoid in children's rooms
Bunkbeds create insecurity (top bunk hit head, lower fear of the top falling)
Beds under window
Beds with messy and cluttered storage underneath
Side of bed pushed up against a wall
Room clutter
Poor lighting
Loud or strong primary colored walls
Bare floors
See through window coverings
Depressing or lonely wall art
Michele Duffy, BTB M.F.S. is an Orinda resident who, since 1999, enjoys creating "Space as Medicine" Feng Shui one space at a time, as well as hiking in nature, cooking, and spending time with her family; Canyon Ranch Feng Shui Master, International Feng Shui Guild (IFSG) Red Ribbon Professional. To schedule a professional 2019 Feng Shui Consultation, contact Michele at (520) 647-4887 or send an email to

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